Leave 'em on a high note

Tuesday, January 29, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

Well, looks like I may have solved the daycare dilemma. Thanks Kim!! More to come folks and its looking pretty dang terrific. Roller coasters at 6 Flags got nothin' on this family!! Oh wow... I need a vacation. A dinner with my man at Caminito's in Northampton perhaps??? That place is fantastic!


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by Jennifer Curran

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Tagged

by Jennifer Curran

Hold on , hold on to yourself
This is gonna hurt like hell

~Sarah McLachlan



I sort of quickly mentioned to Aaron that I signed up with DMR for help. "What's DMR?" he innocently asked. To which I quickly reply, "Department of Mental Retardation."

Silence.

"My son isn't mentally retarded Jenn, I don't care what anyone says."

Scary names. That's all it is. Just a name, a label. It changes nothing. I give him the pep talk I've been given and by which I've been living.

Labels. Not like the itchy ones in the collar of a cheap shirt, you can't just tear this one out by its seams. Its invisible. Its a tool. That's all. Name brand disorders come in all sizes and shapes. Name brand or generic, the kids are the same. Meetings and consultations as common as a One Day only sale. And in the pile of mixed up t-shirts and for-sale-jeans, you find the perfect one. The perfect fit. Its all it is. Just a name. It gets you admittance into the cool kids cliches: Medicaid, Therapies, Services. Just like my old double velcro, high top red Reeboks and my Swatch.


ed note: I was never in the cool kids clique. Total dork.

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The hits just keep coming

Monday, January 28, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

I had a conference with the boys' daycare people today. They have basically been booted and their last day is Feb 8th.

I have two weeks to solve this problem. Trying to see the silver lining in this. Just looks gray right now.


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Please read.

Saturday, January 26, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

And watch the video.

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Yucky Candy Mommy

Friday, January 25, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

I got home from work yesterday at about 5:35pm. Took everyone's coats off, clicked on the tube and walked into the kitchen to give Clancy his meds. Opened up the blue pill bottle with his Acepromozine (tranquilizer) inside. Took out two pills for the pooch, leaned over to my sitting dog and from behind me Seth swiped the bottle and tipped it inside of his mouth. There were only 6 pills inside when he grabbed it. I took it away and saw 4 left.

Yucky candy mommy!

Don't panic.

Wipe out his mouth. No rinse it. Well, he might swallow the water and then get more of the stuff in him.

Poison Control. Where the hell is the phone book???

Inside cover: Poison Control. Okay. Good.

Ma'am, how many pills did he eat? I think 2, but I got part of one out.

Is he conscious? Yes.

What exactly did he take? Take him to the emergency room.

No. Wait. Hold on one moment ma'am.

Ma'am? Hi. You need to call 911 immediately. His circulatory system and central nervous can be affected.

Um... what?

You need to call 911 immediately.

Seth, mommy asked a couple of doctors to come and see you. We're going to go for a ride in an ambulance. Mommy and JP will come too.

Baystate is on diversion, but because he's a pedi they'll take him.

We'll need to do an EKG, charcoal him and then keep him for a bit. And we'll run labs.


Mommy, no more! No more! I'm sorry! All done now, all done.

We need 10 minutes, please just stop trying for 10 minutes and we can do it again. He's a little guy and enough for a moment okay?

Sure mom, we'll try again in a bit.

Mommy! That hurts. No more boo boos on Seth.

I know baby, I know.

We'll have to keep him here overnight for observation. He seems fine, but just to make sure.

Snuggle me mommy. Snuggle.

Sure buddy, mommy will sleep right next to you.

You should be home by noon, he looks really great. Did he eat breakfast okay?

The social worker will be by around 1. Its protocol whenever there is an accidental ingestion or overdose.

It happened so fast, I didn't see him behind me.

Don't take that on. It happened and now its over. It could have been so much worse. We live and we learn, its all we can do.

~~~






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Seth's car

Wednesday, January 23, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

I believe this qualifies for bragging rights. Seth drew this car the other day and he told me the story that goes along with it. Apparently this red car was driving and it BUMPED into a Big Rock and then it was all mucky.

Please note, there was a beginning, a middle and an end to his story.

And the end to my story goes something like:

Ignore the fact that this was written on Danielle's wall, with a hijacked red marker.

The End

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The latest addition

Tuesday, January 22, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

This is Cooper. He is Autumn's birthday present and is about the cutest little bunny I've ever seen. She is going to use watered down food coloring on his little mohawk. Cooper is a lionheaded rabbit and is half angora, half dwarf rabbit. He won't get bigger than the whopping 3 or 4 lbs he is now. The photos are a bit older I think. He was born in Octoer 2007. All together now... aaaaahhhhhh!




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HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

by Jennifer Curran

If you got to see the incredibly scary, brainwashed, zombie Tom Cruise on those videos for Scientology, they you will truly appreciate this spoof! I love you Jerry O'Connell for doing this. You totally blew the e-meter out of the water on this one.

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Wow

by Jennifer Curran

Heath Ledger? What a tragic, sad thing.


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Two Cats Talking (watch first)

Sunday, January 20, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

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The Translation

by Jennifer Curran

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Frosty Friday Goodness

Saturday, January 19, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

Strawberry daquiries are most delicious at 3:30am with a big ass free pizza and good company. Oh yes, this chick went OUT last night. Old job holiday party. We go every year and get our drink on and dance like idiots. This year Aaron couldn't get the night off, so my sister (who actually still works there) Kate was my date. Corny rhyme.

Post party we went to a local dive bar. I'm not a club person, I just like a dark place with questionable clientele and cheap beer. Left dive bar, made a phone call to Kate's friend and BLAM! Free damn pizza. I still can't believe I found the place. On the way there we saw a large drug bust. Complete with 5 or 6 cruisers, about 15 cops surrounding the car, trunk open and sad dude on the ground. It was so COOL! We finally got our tired asses home and decided that strawberry daquiries would be perfect with our pizza. We whipped out the new awesome blender and had us some frosty goodness. It was great.

At 9:30 this morning Aaron laid on the bed next to me. He had been in a really, really great mood all morning. Like happy to wake up at 7am. So, he says he needs to leave soon.

I asked, "Where to?"

Well, its a long story sort of.

I have time.

Well, I got this check for my unused sick time yesterday. I didn't know I was getting it, I forgot.

Cool.

So, I, um, I bought something. I bought an X-box 360. And I'm thinking I shouldn't have.

Aaron, you have been wanting one of these things since they came out. Get the stupid X Box. Please.

And so, the white tower and fancy wireless controller are all set up. I don't think I'll see the front of his face for weeks. And he totally deserves to burn his retinas out if he wants.

I'm tired.


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Messages

Friday, January 18, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

I believe that we hear what we choose, what we want and mostly what we need. I heard Anna Wise's story this morning as part of NPR's Story Board. She is 96.

I'd like share her message with you.

When you get to the NPR site, click "Listen Now". It's pretty brief, but I'll bet you'll never look at a blue sky the same way again.

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ummmm..... wtf?

Thursday, January 17, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

Special K is Rice Krispies in disguise.


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Moving forward and a super bitch

by Jennifer Curran

Big stuff. Conference call with the pediatrician cleared up a huge misunderstanding. Doc totally agrees, gave him a provisional Austism spectrum disorder diagnosis, made a referral, called Early Intervention and had a conversation with the daycare.

We're going to Boston Children's Hospital for his neuro testing and eval. I left a message yesterday and should be hearing from them today. Baystate has a one year waiting list.

I called the public schools yesterday to find out if school choice applies to pre-school. Here's what the rudest bitch in Massachusetts had to say:

Me: Hi, I'm calling to find out a bit more about school choice and if it applies to pre-school.

B: I don't think so, I think it only pertains to 6-16 year olds. Why, are you considering sending your child to another school district?

Me: Yes I am.

B: Why?

Me: Well, my son has special needs and he has been referred to special education. He attends daycare in South Hadley, so I would like to keep his commute and transitions as simple as possible.

B: Well, he'll still have to transition if he goes in South Hadley.

Me: Yes, but the pre-school is about 2 miles from his daycare. The Springfield schools are about 30 minutes away.

B: But he would still have to switch schools every day.

Me: Yes, but if I send him to Springfield he'll be making 2 large round-trips every day and I would rather him not have to spend 2 hours in the car everyday.

B: Why? He can't ride in cars?

Me: That's not the point. It would just be easier on him.

B: Easier on him or just more convenient for you?

Me: I just need to know if I can use School Choice for pre-school or not. If you don't have the answer, may I speak with someone who does?

And... SCENE!

She actually said that to me. I wanted to crawl through the phone lines and strangle this horrible, nasty human being. And people wonder why no one wants to send their kids to those schools.

I found out the answer, he will have to go to Springfield for pre-school. I am going to find out the hours today. I am also writing a letter of complaint to the Superintendent's office.




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Update. SSDD.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

It was worse today for JP. I don't think he is necessarily even safe any more. They had a snow day yesterday, went today and it was a horror show. I had a quick meeting of the minds at 5 with the director of the daycare, but JP's teacher called over the intercom: Sharon can you come help? (insert screaming JP in background) So we went tearing down the hall and there is JP rolling around the fricking floor just like Regan from Exorcist. If it wasn't so scary and a little sad it would have been funny.

I ended up carrying him out to the car.

Speech therapy. He needs speech freaking therapy?

I sent a letter to the doc via fax, signed all sorts of releases of information for EI team, daycare and doc office. Now, I'm waiting.

My dog is neglected. He is pacing around here bored. Too tired buddy, I'm sorry.


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New level of crazy

by Jennifer Curran

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White Out

Monday, January 14, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

Outside my picture window, a perfectly white lawn. Trees holding their branches, weighted with the powder perfect cold. Sounds of shovels and neighbors clearing their walks. A friendly wave to each other, mittens coated with snowballs. The dog tunneling his way through the yard, he tosses a frosty nose in the air and leaps and bounds and plows his head under. So silly, he chases a snowball and searches to find it after it hits the lawn and becomes invisible.

A deep breath today. Moving on and treading the same waters. Going to keep my boys home two days a week. A break from the daycare and for the daycare. Tuesdays and Thursdays at home. Still working out how I'll make this happen, but thankfully a rescue from mom and dad for this week. One day at a time. Leaving a lot of this in Someone else's hands. We're back to dairy free fare. If it works, great. Not holding my breath, not needing it to be the answer. But maybe it will be a part of the puzzle.

The doctor says no. No referral needed. He needs speech therapy. I disagree and so now I work for a second opinion. If I need to, a new doctor. There is a fine line between frustration tantrums and the complete loss of control that we see. I know there is something to fix here, I just need a little cooperation. A little trust for mom, a little respect for my intuition. If I can't get it from this pediatrician, there are hundreds around I can search.

The show. The play. All fine. Cast is wonderful and supportive. I am surrounded now by folks whose intent matches my own: to make something out of nothing. To tell a story as truthfully and honestly as we can. To find the fight, find the love. And we will. And it will be wonderful. I'll find a Kate.

Boys are sleeping.

Last night Aaron and I used the new blender for more than almond milk. Nothing like a fruity bitch drink to make you smile.


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Scary stuff

Sunday, January 13, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

I don't know whether to dry my eyes from laughing so hard or to start building some sort of underground railroad. Scary, scary folk living in the world. Read it for yourself.

My favorite is the sneaky 16yo with the secret "girlfriend."


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Drama for your mama

Friday, January 11, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

I'm very naive. I learned that today. I go at things with my heart and soul, I do things I love because I love to do them. And I honestly believe that everyone who is along for the ride is like me in that sense. I believe that everyone does things that they love, that they come with pure intent. It never occurs to me that folks would want to hurt another person, or blame them or use them.

I learned a really valuable lesson today. I learned it the hard way, the way most good lessons are taught.

I am directing a play. And until about 3 days ago I was so proud, so confident that things were going fantastic. Actors were doing these really great things, the set is being built and I was really feeling like "I can do this! This is FUN!" And then it happened.

I got this rant from an actor. A really not nice email. Too long and full of drama to post here. It was a selfish email on her part. It was a lot of finger pointing. At the time when I read it, I was deeply hurt by it. Even worse, I believed it. I mean, I bought it. I replied and I convinced her to not quit. Of course today, she pulled the same stunt. Threats to quit because she wasn't getting her way. So, I stepped back and saw that this wasn't my doing. This is a woman who never should have auditioned, who tried to back out months ago and I agreed to work around her schedule. I'm naive... I told you. So anyhow, I draw a line in the sand and say, "I want you if you want to be here. But no more threats." She quit.

Now I will have to re-cast the role, which is fine. It will be a pain, but we'll find our Kate. She's out there. This issue the other actor had "with me" is her problem. Not mine. Unfortunately this will reflect very badly on her for quitting a show one month from opening night. The other actors will have to pay though, its always on them to help with blocking and get the newbie to feel welcome and all such manner.

I honestly think this is for the better. I know that I would have really struggled to work with this woman.

This happened during one of the worst days of my life though. JP - what can I say? He's not a happy boy an whatever is wrong with him, well, it sucks. It just really sucks. I missed the doc phone call. I'm just going to stop here... I am completely wiped out.


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A Smile

Thursday, January 10, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

Having had a truly shit-tastic day, I decided to make a few calls for the play. Its a WWII drama and I've invited a few veteran's groups and am sending tickets to the Soldier's Home and the local VA hospital. We're also planning a talk back after our matinee.

I called a gentleman named Henry to ask if he and perhaps some friends would be interested in joining us. Henry is a WWII veteran and is 85 years old. Our conversation was wonderful, though he did have to turn Jerry Springer down to, and I quote, "get my digits". Henry and 6 of his buddies will be coming, in uniform.

He also called me "kid". Which about the greatest thing you can call a 35 year old mother of 4.

From there I called my dad to tell him the news. He re-enacted a Dominoes commercial for me and for the first time in a couple days I laughed. I'm still giggling.

This kid has got to cook dinner...




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Slowly moving forward

by Jennifer Curran

Spoke to JP's Early Intervention team lead (Sara). She is fantastic, she spent a half hour on the phone with me. She gave me options, ideas, suggestions. Good stuff to go on. She asked me if I knew anything about Asperger's. I knew a little. I did some reading and yeah, it could be him. Of course, I think you could read Web MD and diagnose yourself with about a thousand things.

Waiting for the doc to call, left her a message asking for a neurological eval referral. Hoping to hear from her today or tomorrow.


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by Jennifer Curran

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.


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Just one good day

by Jennifer Curran

I don't care what you call it. I don't care if you shout it from the mountain tops or whisper it in my ear. I don't care if my insurance covers it, I don't care if it breaks the bank.

Will someone please just help my son. For the love of God. There is something not right and because I don't have the little letters after my damn name doesn't mean I can't be right. The only little letters you need to know are M-O-M.

If he had a broken leg you could fix it. If he needed a heart transplant you could fix it. But somewhere in there, in the grayest matter, somewhere in the ganglions and synapses, something isn't right. I can see it, I can. His teachers can point to it and write all about what does and how it changes him. They can tell you that he bites himself, that he pulls out his hair, that he bangs his head on the floor, that he throws himself around as if he were made out of rubber. And now, that isn't enough. He is hurting other kids now. And that scares the hell out of me.

I don't know the terminology, I don't care too much about six syllable words, I just see a little guy who deserves ONE good day. Just one.



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At a loss here.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

I picked up the boys from daycare today at 5. I was asked to come into the hall where I was handed 5 accident reports to sign. For two days at daycare. JP is honestly worse than ever. He has escalated to not only hurting himself but other kids in the class. This seems fake. I can't wrap my head around it. I don't know how much more these women can take. I'm really frustrated and feel lost, out of control. Seth is now doing the same kinds of things... not sure if he is reacting to JP, copying, having issues. I feel like... oh shit I don't know what I feel. Tired. Stressed. Scared.

Game Plan: Contact EI team and see about more therapies, contact pediatrician and push for neurological evaluation, push for 1:1 even if that means an ASD diagnosis. Get back to the diet for JP. I don't care what label they put on him, just fricking DO SOMETHING. Can't anyone DO something? Tell me what to do and I'll do it, but I just don't know where to turn.

I'm really not having a good day. I wanted to stay away from this type of post, but I just had to vent a bit and Aaron isn't home yet.

Oh, my friend's little girl Sylvie has Krappe (?sp). Its a terminal neurological disease. Its genetic, so her twin has it. Sylvie is on borrowed time, most infants with this die before they turn 2. She turned 2 a few months ago. Her sister carries it and at some point in her life it will make her sick, but not necessarily be fatal. Every child they conceive will have this, so they can't have anymore kids.

Another co-worker of mine has a 7 year old little girl who has scoliosis so bad she is already in a brace and will need major surgery on her spine.

Great fricking day.




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Ramble, ramble, ramble

Tuesday, January 08, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

Watching a horrible news show while the NH results trickle in. I'm an Obama fan. I really don't like Clintons. Work is crazy. I have had to re-arrange my office two times in two days. Super fun. I moved computers all day yesterday and barely got a damn thing done.

Danielle had a tooth pulled today. She screamed so loud I almost burst into the room. Can you imagine that? Me, this total like dork busting into the little dentistry room, "No one hurts my baby! Danielle get in the van! Just get in the damn van!" Little gauze pads flying around the room, I hold 'em at bay with the drill and back out of the room. Exactly what would I have been able to do?? She really hated the whole experience.

I think my dog just threw his food onto the floor. Like picked it up and then opened his mouth and let it fall onto my kitchen floor. Whatever Clancy. He's getting neutered next week. Big boy is almost 18 months old. Stella is next.

I'm exhausted and for some reason, this about as deep as I can get tonight. Off to bed.




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Free 411

Monday, January 07, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

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Cat and Dog Diary Comparison

Sunday, January 06, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

This was posted on the Masslive.com forum for pet owners, thought it was hysterical.

Excerpts From A Dog's Diary

Day number 181

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Excerpts From A Cat's Diary

Day
752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day 761 -
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try
this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought
them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am
capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only
cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not
working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how
sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water
torture. This time however it includeda burning foamy chemical called
"shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only
consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY
771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer".
Moreimportantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy
to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room
his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...



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Finished.

Thursday, January 03, 2008 by Jennifer Curran

video

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Me and Clancy

by Jennifer Curran


A doggie hug can make anyone smile. Even on a bad hair day.

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The Bunk is Back Baby!!

by Jennifer Curran

Right, so I clicked on the TV and flipped to On Demand. HBO. Series. The Wire. And there... lo and behold was the 5th season premiere of the best fricking television show in the history of television...

The Wire. Is. Back! BAM!
Oh man. Oh McNulty. Bunkity Bunk. And Herc. Marlo. Bubs. Woo freaking hooooo! I left a note for Aaron on the boys' new chalkboard:


Think he'll get the hint? We've been waiting and waiting for the new season. Its bittersweet, this is also the last. I spent a large part of my summer break watching seasons 3 and 4. In like 2 weeks I watched all 20 episodes. I'm not proud. Oh hell, yes I am!! I watched like 20 hours of television in two weeks!! Gosh I love having summers off.

I haven't posted in a few days. Crazy. Hitting crunch time with the play and it is really, really exhausting. JP hasn't been doing that great since getting back to school. Seth is having problems too. He is biting again and tonight he got into huge trouble. I've never had a biter, so this is new to me. I made a pretty big impression on him tonight. He was taken out of the bath and put to bed immediately. That was fun. JP wanted him back.

My dog is awesome. Have I mentioned this? He is laying on the bed with me, head on my legs and his face is all rumpled. You rock buddy. He sat on the couch with me and watched The Wire. Or more accurately, he sat on the couch with me and shared my popcorn while I watched TV.

Work stuff... boss is moving into her own office. Leaving me with my very own, large, huge windows, lovely, own office!!! Oh yeah!! I will be filling my own mahogany bookcases, vertical filing cabinets, large U-shaped desk and wall space with ALL MY STUFF!!! Very exciting. I need picture frames.

I need to sleep, but I'm just so excited about The Wire being back. And its on Wednesdays, so that means I can grab it on Thursdays. With the writer's strike there's nothing on anyhow.

Life is good people. It really is.

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2008

Tuesday, January 01, 2008 by Jennifer Curran


2007 can kiss my ass. What a crappy year. Moments shine, but looking at it from a step back it was really kind of shitty. So, yeah. 2008 has to be better. Right?!

One year ago I was here. At my best friend Dan's house, playing crazy tv show re-enactments, eating the 50 lb lasagna, watching TV with an appendage attached to it (I can't explain any further with my mom reading this). It was a great, great night. And this year, Dan decided to be all in love or whatnot and not have another stab at party-making history.

So this is us, tonight. At home, in my jammies, screaming at teenagers to be quiet. My parents don't even do that. Ugh. Ahhhh... its better already!

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